Pancake's birthday!

I am writing this on April 8, 2022 and today is Pancake’s 12th birthday (the post will go up later, though)! It is a tradition that on her birthday I make her an ENTIRE strip of bacon. Thick cut. This year we’ve got bacon from a local farm, so it’s going to be kinder to animals and terrific. This feels like a bigger birthday for Pancake than average. She hasn’t had the easiest time lately.

This is the oldest picture I can find of me and Pancake. She’s 3 here and I’m 24. Erika got Pancake when she was a kitten, but when I met the dynamic duo Pancake was 2 and a half.

In December 2020, Erika and I added an 8 week old puppy into the house. In that moment, Pancake went from being the grumpy girl who shooed away 90% of attention directed at her to being starved for attention, as Erika and I cared for the tiny Podo.

During the first few months, Pancake stays in control of the house. She will slap Podo if she needs to. I remember one day Podo happily walking up to me after a session of chasing Pancake and he had one of her claws lodged in his nose. I yanked it out and Podo seemed to think the whole thing was awesome.

Over time, the tables turn. Podo goes from being a tiny baby worm-dog to being double Pancake’s weight, and incredibly fast. Podo is a beagle, and he’s naturally inclined to SCREAM at small furry creatures, which scares Pancake (beagles were originally bred to hunt rabbits…they aren’t great cat dogs). Eventually we set up a latch on Erika’s office door that Pancake can enter, but Podo can’t. Her litter goes in there. Her water bowl, her food. Erika’s office becomes Pancake’s home base. Eventually, it’s rare to see her outside of that room. Podo always wants to bark at her or chase her if she leaves and it’s not really worth the hassle.

Suddenly, I’m watching Pancake’s life from afar. Sure, I can go into the office and visit her and see her, but that isn’t how top tier cat bonding really thrives. She needs to be able to saunter up to me at the brief moment SHE chooses to be friendly, and I’m supposed to be graced by her presence. We’re off balance. As the months roll on, my traditions with Pancake start dying out. She’s never on my lap when I watch TV at night anymore. She’s not hanging out on my work desk, getting in the way of the keyboard. We’re not doing our daily training anymore (Pancake can do a few tricks like sitting and giving you her paw).

To make matters worse, Pancake started overgrooming herself due to the new stress of Podo. Her fur is thinning in the areas where she’s overgrooming. The vet says it’s like biting your nails as a human - it’s a form of self-soothing. The act itself won’t hurt her, but it’s a sign of how stressed she is.

Also, Erika and I had an issue at our first apartment in Pittsburgh, so three months into having Podo, we moved to a new apartment. If there’s anything Pancake likes less than Podo it’s probably moving. One day near the move I remember trying to let Pancake eat some treats out of my hand - a common bonding activity we’ve done for years - and she wound up and SLAPPED me, left the treats, and walked away. Pancake spent time being unambiguously unhappy.

Humor Break

Before the stressful events in this post, Pancake lived alone with me and Erika and was a silly and playful young kitty.

One funny example - Pancake used to bundle up our shower curtain overnight while we were sleeping and put it in the toilet? She did this multiple times. She looks guilty here so I think she knows it’s rude. I love her.

It has become something of a running joke in our house to comment that ‘Podo and Pancake are getting along so much better!’ Whenever we say it, it’s genuinely true. But when you say it a few times a week for over a year it kind of can’t help but feel like a joke eventually. It’s a joke and it’s true.

Everything gets better one inch at a time. First we install retractable baby gates so that we can separate the house into different sections. Next we tweak the gates so that Pancake can actually squeeze through them, but Podo can’t. We install cat pheromone diffusers - first in her room, and after seeing how well she responds to them, in every room.

The overgrooming starts improving. We install shelves in the living room and set her up with a high resting spot where Podo can’t reach her. We install shelves in the bedroom. Pancake will own the airspace. She deserves it.

Podo also does his part by maturing from a bb boy to a big boy. He starts settling down (a little) when Pancake is around. He’s barking less. His separation anxiety with me and Erika is easing up a little, so we can actually spend time with Pancake without him panic-barking that we’re abandoning him.

And by the way, it’s obvious that Podo cares about Pancake. Here's a cute story to illustrate - as background, Podo LOVES empty toilet paper and paper towel rolls. Honestly he loves full ones too. But he always enjoys running around with an empty one before settling down and chewing on it like a bone and eventually ripping it to shreds. Like I said, he loves them.

One day Erika and I saw Podo find an empty toilet paper roll and carry it directly to the office that is Pancake's home base. The door was cracked open - that just enough crack so that Pancake can come out, but Podo can't come in. Podo tossed the empty toilet paper roll into her room! Pancake of course thought nothing of this sweet, friendly gesture. He really, REALLY wants to be friends. They just don't speak the same language.

As Podo keeps maturing and our changes to the house keep adding up, my old life with Pancake starts re-emerging. As a puppy, Podo is always awake. Eventually, he starts sleeping 'through the night', and waking up at 5AM. This means I wake up at 5AM. Eventually it's 6AM. Then it's 7AM. Once he's ~14 months old, Podo is no longer compelled to wake up when I wake up. He'll sleep in. He starts sleeping until 9, 10, 11 maybe - if it's raining and cold and he doesn't want to go outside. Eventually he starts going back to bed after a quick wakeup bathroom walk. He’s lived out enough mornings to know that I’m going to be on my computer doing stuff. It’s not that fun to be out here, and Erika is still asleep in the warm bed. He starts joining her every morning. Pancake seizes the opportunity. She's now back to being my desk buddy during most of the morning, purring and getting pets and hanging out like the pre-Podo days.

Pancake is also not open to the idea of relinquishing her new-old lifestyle anytime soon. Now if I try to sleep past 7AM, she'll start yelling at me until I get up. The mornings are officially Pancake time. She has sat on my desk with me for much of my writing of this post.

Us during a morning work session the other day (ages 12 and 33)

Relationships face challenges over time. Even the relationship you have with your cat can eventually go through the ringer. Relationships can also recover. There were a lot of days over the past year and a half that I felt hopeless about Pancake's prospects of enjoying the rest of her life with Podo here. I also thought she might never forgive me for bringing Podo into the house (and maybe she hasn’t…). A year and a half later though, I can at least look and clearly see how much happier Pancake is now relative to then, and that does give me a lot of hope for her future happiness.

Like many of us, Pancake had a rough patch start in 2020. Unlike many of us, her rough patch was caused by her family getting a puppy. It’s not THAT much more privileged than the problems I face. She faced it head on and I can see her coming out the other side. I think her 13th year will be a fun one.

Happy birthday Pancake!

In 2014 we made her a corn cake with a shrimp on it which was cute, but nowadays we know to just give her bacon